Thursday, December 15, 2005

I wish there were two of me

Much to my surprise, I had a blast at last night's office Christmas party. The food was great and plentiful, the bar was open, the co-workers were relaxed and fun (see 'the bar was open') and there was dancing. This (especially the dancing) is pretty much all I need to have a good time. My chief complaints were only that a) I shouldn't have had to pay $25, b) the DJ kind of sucked, and c) this morning, it is not Friday.

I got home very late (to the delightful news that DH had taught DD how to make snow angels) and got very little sleep, but am generally happy. (As I'm not really a drinker, when I have access to an open bar, for me this means unlimited juice. Tame and sad, yes, but this morning I am completely non-hungover as opposed to all my co-workers so really, there are advantages. Plus, there is nothing quite so fun as being totally sober and watching your co-workers get drunk around you. Try it sometime.)

But then today I got on the computer and started reading all the GTA knitting blogs raving about how great last night's holiday SnB party was at Lettuce Knit, and now I'm thinking...damn, if I only could have gone to that, too. I briefly contemplated leaving the office party for about three quarters of an hour to pop over to the SnB (the party was pretty close to the store), but I was having such fun that I thought, aw, screw it.

So really, the only solution would have been to clone myself. Or get a Time Turner.

Christmas socks for DH
DONE! I worked on these in the cab ride home last night, and again this morning, and again at lunch today, and they are completely finished. (Pictures forthcoming.)

Now I just have to hide them from DH. I don't know how much he suspects...I originally told him that the socks were for me, but I've been working on them a lot lately and I'm wondering if he's confused about why I'm working on something for me when there's still Christmas and due-any-second baby knitting to be done.

But I have some good non-lies worked out in case he asks me where they went. "Non-lies" = statements that are technically true but which are constructed in such a way as to completely mislead the person you tell them to, so that you can safeguard whatever surprise you are trying to spring on them. So, for example, if he asks me where the socks went, I will say, "They're hiding. I can't work on them anymore. I have to finish the Christmas knitting." Now, I know that the real truth of these statements breaks down as follows:

  • They're hiding = They're hiding from my DH because they are his Christmas present
  • I can't work on them anymore = They're done
  • I have to finish the Christmas knitting = I have to finish the Christmas knitting (a totally true statement unrelated to the previous two statements - used as a red herring to throw DH off the scent)

But I shall say them in such a way which will make him think that they actually mean:

  • They're hiding = I've hidden them from myself so that I will not be tempted by them
  • I can't work on them anymore = I have bigger knitting priorities right now
  • I have to finish the Christmas knitting = This is the bigger knitting priority, and is the reason why I have had to hide the socks from myself

You see how it goes? Non-lies...for those who wish to keep good surprises secret from loved ones. Obviously, a powerful tool that should only be used for good, and never for evil (for example, covering up an adulterous affair is a Very Bad And Totally Unacceptable use of the non-lie).

Cape Cod sweater for MIL
A tiny bit more has been done on sleeve #2. I'm finding it difficult to knit throughout my entire commute these days because the portion of the commute spent in the car with DH and DD now tends to be spent playing with DD. This is an extremely personally rewarding use of my time, but as Christmas knitting goes it's very stress-inducing.

Fafner blanket for baby Muth
I've decided to do a countdown. Hopefully this will make me feel better about things. 28 pattern repeats to go.

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